Skip to main content

"Microwave Massacre" (1983) | ZombieFuel.net

 

Photo credit: Apple TV

by Bone Jawnson

There is an old saying that goes, "You should never meet your idols." As a twist on this, I feel that "you should never watch actors who voiced your childhood cartoon of Frosty the Snowman cook his murder victims in a microwave oven." Yet, this is exactly what happened when I watched "Microwave Massacre." This film starred the ever-deadpan stand-up comedian Jackie Vernon, who played the role of a disgruntled husband and construction worker named Donald. (Click here for a clip of Jackie's stand-up routine.) During his film career, Vernon most notably voiced the character of Frosty in the classic, made-for-television cartoon "Frosty the Snowman" (1969), as well as the subsequent "Frosty's Winter Wonderland" (1976) and "Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July" (1979). 
 
"Microwave Massacre" is sandwiched between Vernon's third role as Frosty and an independent, seafaring mafia spoof movie called "Mafia on the Bounty." After conducting some research, I was unable to determine why Vernon was cast for Donald’s role. This film appears to be an outlier in his list of roles. Although he plays an eventual murderer, the premises and performance are in line with his style of humor. I will say that after my initial viewing, I thought this was just a poorly executed, drawn-out, boorish film. However, after researching Jackie Vernon's style of humor and deadpan, self-deprecating delivery, the way he portrayed Donald became funny, as it was very much in line with his previous stand-up work. 
 
The plot of this film is fairly simple: Donald is a disgruntled construction worker whose wife continues to pack him lunches that he can't stand and make dinners that he doesn't like. He eventually gets into an argument, kills his wife, chops up her remains, cooks them in the microwave, and eats them. He quickly discovers that he likes the taste of cooked human flesh, which reveals a lot about the nature of his wife's cooking. Throughout the film, Donald finds other victims to enable his newfound lust for flesh and shares his new recipes with his co-workers. 
 
Initially, I thought this film was a snooze fest; however, after watching some of Jackie's stand-up, I realized that he was playing the character of Donald to his strengths as a deadpan, self-deprecating, no-respect-given type of guy. Through an IMDB search, it was revealed that Rodney Dangerfield was initially offered the role; however, his salary was too high. I can now see why the producers and director went with Jackie Vernon instead.


Next up on my viewing list: "Blood Feast" (1963)



Popular posts from this blog

"The Legend of Crick Foot" Sheds Light on Hatfield's Enigmatic Cryptid in Gripping Documentary | ZombieFuel.net

  [Pictured above] Dr. Jord Dehoff, famed cryptid researcher who specializes in Crick Foot HATFIELD, PENNSYLVANIA – [January 22, 2024] – Zombie Fuel Media and Small Town Horrors Productions are delighted to announce the upcoming release of its groundbreaking documentary, "The Legend of Crick Foot," directed by Hatfield's very own Bone Jawnson. This highly anticipated film delves into the mysterious local legend surrounding a cryptid with a peculiar affinity for hot dogs, known as Crick Foot. Set against the charming backdrop of Hatfield, Pennsylvania, this feature-length documentary takes audiences on an immersive journey through personal accounts, first-hand search footage, and centuries-old lore that surrounds the elusive Crick Foot. Director Bone Jawnson, a lifelong Hatfield resident, unveils the town's well-kept secrets in his directorial debut, promising an authentic and captivating exploration of the local urban legend. "I am thrilled to finally bring this...

Film Worlds Collide: 'The Farmhouse Murders' Takes on a Whole New Indie Dimension with Its All-Star Franchise Cast

  by Bone Jawnson Independent filmmaker and Delaware County Pennsylvania native, Kevin Duffy, is pulling all the stops with his upcoming feature film, "The Farmhouse Murders." Starring familiar faces such as Larry Hankin (Escape from Alcatraz and Seinfeld) and Marlon Taylor (IT), Kevin's debut feature film will surely be a must-see. Kevin is no stranger to indie film and maintains a steady  performer portfolio . He and his team have steadily raised  funds  for "The Farmhouse Murders," projected to be released in 2025.  As of March 2024, the stars include industry veteran,  Eric Roberts  (Runaway Train, The Dark Knight, The Expendables), to the cast as the "seemingly charming yet suspicious role of Mayor Fredrick Kane." Kevin has also announced the addition of  Eliza Roberts  (Animal House, Dr. Who: The Movie) as the mayor's wife Natalie Kane, and another"IT" alum,  Ben Heller,  playing the character Sal. From the directo...

"The Legend of Crick Foot," a Hatfield, PA based cryptid documentary, will have a Delaware County debut | ZombieFuel.net

  HATFIELD, PENNSYLVANIA – [June 18, 2024] – Zombie Fuel Media and Delco Horror Haven are delighted to announce the Delaware County premiere of the groundbreaking documentary, "The Legend of Crick Foot," directed by Hatfield, Pennsylvania’s very own Bone Jawnson. This highly lauded film delves into the mysterious local legend surrounding a cryptid with a peculiar affinity for hot dogs, known as Crick Foot. Set against the charming backdrop of Hatfield, Pennsylvania, this feature-length documentary takes audiences on an immersive journey through personal accounts, first-hand search footage, and centuries-old lore that surrounds the elusive Crick Foot. Director Bone Jawnson, a lifelong Hatfield resident, unveils the town's well-kept secrets in his directorial debut, promising an authentic and captivating exploration of the local urban legend. "I am thrilled to finally bring this urban legend to Delaware County for the first time," says Bone Jawnson, whose person...