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"Zombie Pirates" (2014) -


by Bone Jawnson

    While I was genuinely excited to watch "Zombie Pirates," it was a little short of my expectations. Initially, I was drawn in by the artwork (below) used to promote the Tubi TV app on my Roku television. "Zombie Pirates" looked like it was going to be a fast-paced, swashbuckling good time, however, the storyline was a bit drawn out. I feel that if some scenes were shorted and the zombies provided more action, this would have kept my attention a bit longer. Regardless of the pacing, I was intrigued by the plot of the film. Essentially, Sarah French's character Linda hunts various humans to kill and bring to zombie pirates in exchange for handsome treasure rewards. She has a mission to bring a certain amount to her "masters" and falls one human sacrifice short, so they come after her in an attempt to kill her. The redeeming part for me was the zombie pirates' makeup and such. I am a sucker for pirates and mixing it with zombies is quite cool. 

    Even though I wasn't sold on the whole viewing experience, I respect anyone who puts forth the effort to make a full-length, independent movie, regardless of the genre. For me, "Zombie Pirates" was a once-and-done. I wasn't drawn in and there seemed to be forced suspense where there was none. Part of me feels bad for not having more to write about the film. This film was released in 2014, "Basket Case" was released in 1982 and Frank Henenlotter went through all kinds of trouble to get it made. He went all out, took his time, scraped together all the funds, filming locations, stop motion animation, etc. to get his vision on film. I do have a little bit of a bad habit of comparing modern indie films to films in the 1970s and the 1980s, when digital technology was not available and writers and directors did, what seemed to be a ton more. 

All in all, I enjoyed the effort of "Zombie Pirates." Again, I give all the respect to someone who puts the pedal to the medal and makes a full-length film. I, the inglorious Bone Jawnson, put together three-minute films and that feels like an eternity. This movie was not my pint of grog, but it might be yours!


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